Thursday, August 02, 2007
guys are really guys..they jux dropdead when they sleep..literally lik a dead log...till i cry while i was watchin dramas n left 4 cca aso duno...bet he looks lik a big indian when he wakes up later.. wif a big red patch on his forehead...so kawaii...
today is a rather tirin day..went 4 editin..can't really get a nice satisfied cut..had lunch bought by dy from btp..specially from there..so sweet..was super nice..was still a little hungry after tt..hehs..has been eatin alot alot lately..jux find satisfaction n a twine of happiness from eatin...always lik to do tis when i'm stress or sad..it fills me up...after tt went for sag..as usual..it was blood boilin..stress..taxing..angry..pissed..provoked..makin ppl hate me more..coz i kept correctin em..i admit i speak wif a strict tone sometimes, or perhaps when i get into serious stuff n esp towards those tt is stubborn to change or follow..ok..i'm rather impatient..can i blame it down to my horoscope??/nah..its down to me..lalala..was drained after SAG...n i realise it was already 10.30pm...oh shit..i'm causin trouble again..haix..
perhaps i'm used to freedom n i believe v.much in own rights..i believe nobody shld or can force u into sth tt u do not lik..if u dun lik e idea,then voice it out..if nt,u're makin urself suffer...i'm a little stressed by limitations esp to those tt i can't abide to..i'm tryin v.hard to..but sometimes i really can't help it...n i get u into trouble again...i wan her to be happy wif u...n u to be happy..so u'ld nt go against her n make her angry??yip..but when u abide to her requests, i admit tt i feel sad..can't explain it..yip..disappointed..a little..
how do u feel when u kno someone dun lik u esp someone tt will plays an impt role??vianny was on e phone while travellin home..though they dun see each other as often n they hav a distance factor to consider, i do envy her a little..cos she can hav it wif freedom..was listenin to her sharin bout her 1st visit to his house..it was funny n it seems so fun..can see tt she feels sweet bout it..was happy 4 her..
perhaps in every woman's heart, or shld i say anybody would lik to be placed 1st in e heart of the person they love n would wan to ensure tt they're loved as much..love is selfish i guess..love in any form..
kinship, i kno in my granny's heart, my bro's always her no. 1 no matter wat he did to her..i've nth to say bout tt..she has brought him up all e way..i think no matter how cold she seems to be towards his stuff, i guess he still means a lot to her..her bday is comin..i wonder if i'ld invite him along..in the matter of kinship, i care more for my position in my mum's heart..i wan to be her no.1...i'm easily jealous over her favouritism...still rmb tt i was childish to e extent of only allowin her to take in godsons n not god-daughters coz i was jealous..i wan to be her only n one daughter tt she could ever has..i too rmb times tt i threw my tantrum over tis matter..i snap super easily wif my mum n din really treasure how gd she was to me..although i love her very much since young, i din really appreciate her.. it was till now tt i learnt to appreciate her n treasure e times wif her really alot alot...i will jux turn into a little pampered girl when i'm wif her..n i lik it alot..
towards godship...god has many children..but he promise tt he will nv 4get n neglect any of us..n i believe in him coz he has indeed blessed me wif alot of stuff even at times tt i backslide..he's always there in times of need..in fact it was me who tends to 4get n neglect him when everything's gd..no no no...mux stop tis..i shall be a faithful follower..
hmm...friendship..i hav my faithful frens..a few of em..shall not mention their names cox they do kno who are they..ppl who stayed by my side no matter wat..at times of good or bad..they dun leave me or drift away from me no matter wat..tt's wat we call true frens...life-long frens..they care bout my feelings..they help me whenever i need help..n in the same way they approach me when they needed help..cox true frens dun hide stuff from each other, n they need scared to bother each other cox they kno they'll stand by each other..it takes two hands to clap..their relationships wun be affected coz of external or additional elements..even when they are married or are attached...their relationship shld not change..true frens wun drift from u cox of tt..instead they will stand by u again to support u thru, givin advice n sharin ur happiness..they're interested to kno wat happen coz they concern..true frens does alot alot other stuff more..in conclusion, they dun drift from u no matter wat...n on top i tis, i can proudly say i hav my true frens...tt's gd enuf..
for loveship..hmm..i duno wat position i'm in..its a bit complicated..i can't demand to be 1st coz it seems abit impossible..but at e same time, in the deepest of my heart, i wan to be 1st..coz a man who places u 1st will love u more than anything n protect u no matter wat..he'll not leave u..perhaps tt's e assurance tt all woman look 4ward to..a passport to life-long n secured relationship..
i still hav alot of tots..but i duno how to put em across words..i've been ramblin on n on..but they seem meaningless, nt drivin at wat i wan express..haiz..tired already...
Love pollinated on~ 9:02 PM
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