today's e 19th bday of Edwin Goh Chuan Heng..it seems so long tt i type out his full name..for a sec,i tot i can't rmb..but it was still clear in my mind...tink today will be a sleepless nit for some ppl..uncle tony..didi..esp auntie angie..she should be in edwin's room rit now..n prob mummy..tt includes me too..time really flies..it has been a yr plus..no..its even longer..i've been neglectin tis great fren of mine ever since i moved out or i've to admit tt it was way b4..i can't even rmb when was e last time i celebrated his bday wif him n prob i dun rmb his bday..but every yr he nv fails to rmb mine..even didi rmb(he bought me a ducklin soft toy last yr n ask my mum to pass me n tis yr,he sms me..usin edwin's no which gave me a shock..n make me wana cry)..no matter how sick he was, he rmb to prepare a present n would specially make a trip to my house..i rmb e last bday gift i got from him was a box of choco..n i din eat it coz i dun lik e taste..wat a fren i was..i did not make much effort to treasure him when he's ard..rmberin his face when i last visited him at e hospital on sat..e sparks in his eyes when he sees me..e smiles n e warmth of his hand n his tears when we prayed tgt..we had dinner tgt..auntie angie bought me fish soup noodles..tt well reminds me tt we used to hav fish soup rice tgt at 216 market almost everyday after sch durin our pri sch yrs..it was e greatest moments of my life..with my family n to hav a fren lik him..we kno each other too well..havin no prob in confidin to each other at all..he gave all out..his sincerity n everything..he knos wat i lik n wat i dun lik..he knows my every action n my temper..n he gives in to me no matter wat..he dun let anyone bully me..rmb there was a time tt he stood up for me at e void deck..we were all so small at tt time..his built was smaller than me..but e smallest was of coz didi..so cute..he was more than a fren definitely..a soulmate..of cox..we've known each other since K1..mummy loves him too..he was e bestest godson tt my mum had..but i nv knew e word treasure..i knew he was tired but he force himself to stay awake bcoz i was there..he wans to spend time wif me..despite his sickness,he still cares 4 me..he's worried bout me..he's concern bout my prob..he keeps askin me to 4give n reconcile wif my mum n he said ur mum will always be ur mum n she still loves u no matter wat..but i told him tt he dun understand..i was wrong..he knos everthing..soon,i had to rush 4 work at maestro,b4 we prayed,he told me tt he wasn't afraid at all to return to god's kingdom..he's prepared..he's brave..tt was really e last time i get to see him..wks later,auntie angie invited me over to her house..she said was some kind of celebration..she hopes i can really go but i din..i can't coz i had to perform in a play tt day..i rmb it was a sat too..i tot edwin was recoverin..so i tot it was ok 4 me not to go..i can visit him another time..i was happy 4 him..but immediately after e play,i received a call from my mum..he passed away..i din manage to see him 4 e last time..i really regretted but wat's e use of bein regret?its too late..i broke down..i attended his funeral..i was wif didi thruout..we recollect e memories tt we had tgt..we'd alot to tok about..but it seems so long ago..memories of pri sch days..at jln tenaga..n it somehow stopped there coz we dun spend as much time tgt after we moved..even though we drifted physically..we're close spiritually..perhaps tis is wat we called lifelong frens.. i tink edwin agrees to wat i say too..at e funeral,didi told me tt i was edwin's closest n bestest fren ever..e other person wld be jia bao..edwin's sec fren..if i'm nt wrong, jia bao's in e same pri sch as us too..


somehow i was glad tt all his sufferings had ended..but still..i miss him..alot alot..esp when i duno wat e pp ard me are tinkin n i'm lost..whether they did tings out of true heart or they had a motive behind it..are they frank wif me..will they hurt me..do they really mean it when they say i'm their best fren or i'm someone impt to em..or is it jux on e surface..all these make me appreciate edwin even more..i kno he'll neither do tings to hurt me nor lie to me..he knos v.well tt i hate liars n hypocrites..thank u edwin..happy bday..

happy birthday to u
happy birthday to u
happy birthday to edwin
happy birthday to u

edwin..i miss u...

kaka,
cindy